Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
The power of my boobs compel you
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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