that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
