Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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