is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm experimenting with sincerity
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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