The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
do herpes really smell.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
