sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
