he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
