Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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