Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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