i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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