I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Randomize
