you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
