There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
