I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
