Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
