It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
