Your face is a jimmy john
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
