i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
