DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
