He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
