On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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