I think scott just propositioned me for sex
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I have already put on my inside pants.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
