he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
