I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
She said her name was "party"
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Randomize
