dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
