He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
