apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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