Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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