Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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