My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
