Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize