i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
