Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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