it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
