By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
