my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
