Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
