Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
