I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
