how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
