Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
