isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
