i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
