Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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