So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
