She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
