My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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