I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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