We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
worst night to have a conscience
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Be still, my beating vagina.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
