so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
we made out on top of his cat.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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