it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
