dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Randomize
