No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
