Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
everyone is single if you try hard enough
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
