Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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