Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
