she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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