I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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