spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I forget how to act sober
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
