the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
