the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. š
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many PokƩmon they live near.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being āgoodā and 10 being ābanging a studentās fatherā, how bad is it that Iām banging a studentās father?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
