What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
