"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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